The End of Year Purge

What a year, huh folks?

(sorry, I couldn't resist pretending to be a cheesy emcee holding a microphone on a stage, if only for one line)

But seriously, a lot has happened this  past year.  I got a new job, I moved into a new place, I dated some different guys- some good and some bad- but ended the year with a damn good one, and I got pregnant.  All in all, I'm exiting 2011 quite different than I entered it.

My only regret is that I didn't end up having done more writing and painting than I did.  I enjoy doing both, but when inspiration isn't striking me in the head, it's tough to get motivated to do either.

-

One thing I'm trying to do more effectively is to purge my negativity, otherwise it just festers within.  There's a fine line between healthy venting and going on and on about pet peeves, but I'll give it a shot.

What is it about the internet that turns people crazy?  Or maybe, it's that crazy people flock to the internet.  Maybe I'm one of them (I'm sure of that, actually).  I'm sure I wear on people in my own special way, but since this is my blog, I'll share three internet 'types' that especially wear on me, and the hope is that by venting I can let it go a little better.

1- Flame Warrior Guy

Flame warrior guy's only objective is to shake the hornet's nest until all hornets are buzzing angrily and out for blood.  He'll do anything to get his way, and responding reasonably to him only causes him to ratchet up his asshattery to the point where the only options are to get angry or exit the interaction altogether.  Unfortunately, though, when you're somewhat responsible for general behavior on an internet forum,  you can never really exit, you can only hope that flame warrior guy goes away before you or somebody else has to forcibly exit him from the cyber-premises.

2- Passive-Aggressive Guy

I respect this guy less than the Flame Warrior, because at least that guy is up front about what he wants.  Passive-Aggressive Guy acts as if he wants an honest dialogue, but in reality, the cake he's just gifted you is chock full of razor blades and poison.  His plan is somewhat vexing because confronting him only elicits a "what me? I didn't mean anything by it" response, sometimes complete with a smiley-face.  In short, there's nothing worse than not knowing where you stand with somebody, and Passive-Aggressive Guy's chicken-shit interactions are only visible through smoke, mirrors, and deception.

3- Dramatic Addict Guy

Dramatic Addict Guy is a real beating.  Usually, Dramatic Addict Guy is not a bad person, but he can't seem to get out of his own way, mostly because he doesn't want to.  See, Dramatic Addict Guy craves attention, and if he can get it mixed in a sweet cocktail of sympathy and compliments, all the better.  Once he gets that high he'll come back for more.  This is the reason why you'll see Dramatic Addict Guy do things like:

- Musing openly about the possibility of disappearing, usually using phrases like "I'm so tired of this, nothing I do is good enough, maybe it's time for me to move on...".  As long as Dramatic Addict Guy can stay on the radar, he's happy.  Unfortunately, he'll often do not-so-good things for this purpose, such as:

- Habitually ending up in dust-ups of questionable fault, but of widespread hard feelings, punctuated by:

- Making trite woe-is-me public messages for all to see.  These messages rarely defuse the situation, in fact they often exacerbate it, which often leads to:

- Offering an elaborate, melodramatic and (most importantly, because otherwise would completely defeat the purpose) public farewell messages.  The goal here is to incite a barrage of "please don't go!" messages into his inbox which causes him to:

- Not leave at all, despite the very non-ambiguous declaration otherwise.  If he's fortunate, he'll then get some "so glad you stayed!" messages, which is a nice little attention-high aftershock after the bukkake sensation of all those pleading messages which "convinced" him to stay in the first place.

-Rinse, Repeat...and it gets repeated often.

Over time it becomes hard to like Dramatic Addict Guy because from the outside, there's nothing else going on besides this exhausting high-low cycle.  And unless you're the type that relishes the opportunity to be involved in others' needless drama, there's not much incentive to reach out to them.  It all makes you wonder why they bother coming online at all, since it's obviously so laborsome.  But the answer is obvious:

Because they don't have anything else.

They don't have a real life, so they construct one and live it online.  And because of this, and also because mundane passing of time is not interesting for themselves or others, they construct these dramas to react against.  It keeps it interesting I suppose, just not always in a functional or enjoyable way for the rest of us that are subjected to it.

But these 'types' are minor inconveniences, and I think they are pet peeves of mine because my actual life involves more than enough drama for me, I can't imagine willfully creating lots more online.  All in all, my online experiences are great, and I've made some really good friends in the process.  I hope to keep them and maybe make a few more along the way.


-

I think I've dated a few guys that must work out here...

-

Rihanna, "We Found Love (in a Hopeless Place)"

So, does that mean she found love in Detroit?  In a Wal-Mart?  In the Cleveland Browns' locker room?

She should be more specific.

-

My hopes for the new year:

A healthy baby
More, better paintings
At least two stories, perhaps erotic, perhaps not
Peace...within my life, at least.  I've got it now, let's hope it holds for a while

Happy New Year, everyone!