Friday, September 30, 2011

Marilyn Monroe

You're still a badass, MM.

Lust at First Sight

I've been attracted to people right away before, it happens all the time.  With the majority of the people that I have had an attraction to, it was apparent in the first five minutes.  But this was different.

Have you ever laid eyes on somebody and immediately felt like you lost control of your senses, like this person's inner magnet scrambled all of your functions and left you in a blank state of lust?

It sort of felt like this:


Only, in Britney's case, she walked in, sat down, contemplated him, then finally walked to the door and had the brain-rush fantasy.  In my case, it happened instantaneously.

I can't really explain it.  He doesn't even have any of the traits that usually make me superficially lust after a guy: he's not black, or particularly muscular, or carry obvious swag.

But nevertheless, I was instantly weak.

I couldn't speak.  I wanted to feel my body up against his and feel his mouth on my pussy and his cock inside of it.  I wanted to be with him and be taken by sheer will and force.  I was soaking wet in no time.

When he spoke to me, I was a stuttering mess, which is very rare for me, and it was very embarrassing.

So, what does this mean?  Is it biological?  Is this a sign that our babies would be of optimal beauty and health?  As cheesy as it sounds, is it some sort of heavy-handed evidence of fate?

Maybe it's just a mystery.  I prefer that, actually.  I like mystery.





Thursday, September 29, 2011

People at the Rock Show


I went to see a show with my roommate, her date, and a guy that I think was designated as my date, last night. There's a really cool converted theater in town that gets lots of good acts, and so we went down there for dinner and drinks, then walked over to the show, featuring an electronic-y pop band from Canada.  They were trendy and acted self-important.  They weren't bad, but the crowd was more fun.

I've figured out that in Dallas, and especially in that neighborhood of Dallas at this kind of show, the crowd is split into two main groups: the kind that look like this:



and the kind that look like this:


Now, the first kind are either drinking beer or nothing at all, and they're right up against the stage but often only moving their heads to the beat of the music.

The second kind are drinking a "-tini" of some sort, or maybe a vodka cocktail, and at least in the girls case, are sometimes in the ladies room reapplying the warpaint and/or getting their coke bump on.  Sometimes I'm doing similar things, since that's the only place to do those things while out (and sometimes I dress the same way too, but anyway...), but I'm just saying, you don't tend to see hipsters using the restroom for purposes other than evacuation of body fluids.

The other really interesting thing is the way about 80% of the non-hipster white girls dance when they listen to live music.  I first noticed this when I started going to clubs a couple of years ago when I moved here, and it hasn't changed since.  I wish I'd thought to take a picture, but here's the quick explanation:

One hand holds her vodka/-tini, the other hand is raised up in the air (sometimes with fingers fluttering like a cheerleader), one foot pivots out (that's the active "dancing" leg), and one leg is stationary, holding her up.  This allows her to shake her hips without falling down, and she'll also scream "woo!" at appropriately enthusiastic moments.  

It's hysterically consistent.






Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Insulation



He had a girlfriend, she was in bed with us.  The circumstances of how we met, much less how we all ended up in bed together, are unimportant.  That's always the boring part of the story anyway.  He said liked my eyes, she said she liked my shoes. As for me, my first impressions paled compared to impressions in the sack.

Her legs were so fucking sexy, they were intimidating.  She stood like a graceful swan, cutting a devastating profile in her slight, short silk dress, fabric perched delicately on her curves, where it might "hang" on a less gorgeous, slender body.  He looked like a businessman.  Not the 50ish type of middle manager that wears short sleeve buttoned shirts; no, he was the clean-cut businessman.  He was probably prominent in his fraternity and grimaced when he heard references to recreational drug use.  But, to my surprise, his entire torso, front and back, were covered in colorful, intricate, continuous tattoos.  I laughed with delight when he removed his shirt.  Michelle, his gorgeous Korean girlfriend, smirked knowingly, understanding exactly the surprise I was reacting to.

Maybe 45 minutes later, we were laying naked, together, with the ambient heat of the room enough to make any sheet or blanket seem uncomfortable.  He was singing the praises of his partner Michelle, reminding us that he was lucky to have taken her off the market once upon a time four months ago.

"So, wild child," he said, his hand hanging in the air as if he wanted to trace my naked chest with the back of it, then hesitating, "is there nobody wanting to take you off the market?  Or do you simply refuse to be taken?"

I wanted to tell him some variation of my standard line: that the right man just hadn't come along, and until he did, I was happy to have my fun.  But that wasn't necessarily the truth.  There's a man who very badly wants to take me off the market, and he's probably worth it.  He's not the kind of guy I'd normally go for, but maybe because he's so out of the ordinary, it validates my feelings about him (?).  So even though post-group-coital conversation probably isn't the time to discuss relationship details, I did take the opportunity to think about it, and then answer.

"There's a guy, but I'm just not ready to be 'that somebody' right now," I finally said.    

"Well don't let him get away," Michelle said, running her fingers through a few strands of my hair.  "The good ones are never around when you need them."

So, let me get this straight: the couple that openly swings, that seeks out random 3-some hookups is warning one such hookup that I shouldn't throw away stability when it presents itself?  I'm not saying that it's contradictory, I guess I was just surprised.

In another 45 minutes, I was dressed and on my way, leaving Michelle and John in their place, in their bed, where they lead their life.  I went home alone.

***

Being single has it's advantages- both the boys and the girls will attest to that.  Being single is insulation from commitment, from vulnerability, and from responsibility.

You can set out for a night in and out of the clubs, truly not knowing where it will lead, or with whom.  Because being single doesn't mean being lonely.  Being single means having options.  It means being a free agent, responsible to nobody but yourself.   It means ritual: choosing that lucky pair of heels, or maybe breaking in a new pair.  It's choosing the dress, the jewelry, leaning forward in the mirror to check out that plunging line.  Apply the perfume, the lipstick, maybe do a shot, and then you're ready for action.

If all goes well, you meet- or maybe even just see- somebody with potential, and then it's a whole other ritual.  Maybe you leave with them, or if its really dirty/electric, maybe you end up in a stall with them, and maybe you leave them there to straighten up in the wake of whatever happens, striding confidently out into the throng once again.    Being single is power, and emotionally, being single is safe.

It can also be lonely, granted.  Being in the orbit of somebody great, who wishes to make you single no more, is a reminder of that.  Of what you're missing.  Being with that person is more than just sex.  It's more than quenching a primal thirst.  It quenches a deeper thirst, but it depends on wanting all that goes with it.

Now, some people might say that it's incredibly selfish of me to not "open myself up" to an opportunity with a great guy when it comes up.  But believe me, I'm being far more selfish if I commit to something that I can't fulfill.  So, feelings get hurt, but far less severely than if I didn't live up to the responsibility that I deceitfully accepted.

***

Have you seen the preview for Real Steel?  The whole movie is about a guy that teaches a fucking robot to fight other robots.  The fuck?

***

It should be obvious, but I'm going to say it anyway, since both sexes for some reason insist otherwise.  Guys don't judge us on personality, they judge us on looks.  If we make a good visual impression, then the rest is up to us to either enhance or negate.  But make no mistake, it's a superficial judgement up front; we either benefit or suffer from that.  



***

And lastly, for now anyways: my NFL picks :)

@Buffalo -4 over Oakland

Never trust Oakland to plan an early-ass game on the east coast.  That's like 9am west coast time.  Actually, never trust Oakland on the road.  Actually...never trust Oakland.  Besides, Buffalo's quarterback went to Harvard.

@Detroit -8 over Kansas City

Kansas City fucking sucks, again.  Sorry, Kansas City.

Baltimore -6 over @Tennessee

Baltimore is really good.  Tennessee's quarterback is old and bald.

Cleveland -2  over @Indianapolis

Indianapolis without Peyton Manning is like a guy without a dick.

@Minnesota -3 over Tampa Bay

In the dome, this year they have a decent quarterback.

Chicago +6 @New Orleans

Cutler would be on a mission to prove us all wrong, if he gave a fuck.  He doesn't.  But his team's pretty good, and I don't think the Saints are all that.

Jacksonville +9.5 over @New York Jets

Too many points for me. Plus I really like Maurice Jones Drew, he's good, and cute.

@Pittsburgh +14.5 - over Seattle

Seattle has no quarterback, and Pittsburgh is pissed!  I'll take the points.

@Washington -3.5 over Arizona

Rex Grossman just signed a deal with the devil, and Kevin Kolb sucks.

Green Bay -10 over @Carolina

The Packers will get 14 points at least, just off Cam Newton turnovers.

Dallas -3 over @San Francisco

Dallas' secondary sucks, and so does San Fran's QB.  Dallas will want it more.

@Denver -4 over Cincinnati

Denver's mad, the Bengals aren't very good.

Houston -3 over @Miami

Houston's pretty damn good, and Miami's not.

San Diego +7 over @New England

Too many points for such a good team.  Expect the Chargers to give them issues.

Philadelphia -2.5 over @Atlanta

The Philly Dream Team will put on a show.

St. Louis +6 over @New York Giants

The Giants aren't very good, and Eli Manning has dumb-face.

GO RAIDERS!





Thursday, September 15, 2011

"It Happened" (poem)

Wary I stayed, resistant to charm.
In fear of the things I could never recover.
Knowing the dangers of letting it go,
And letting you into a volatile heart.
Insisting on patience, but fighting myself,
Equally drawn to, and fearful of you,
The tenderest heart in a frightening vessel,
Of size and of power, of sinewy armor.
I would not submit to the solace or passion,
Alas, I knew, it happened.


From tight embraces in darkest night,
Ensconced in your arms, a wordless comfort,
Alarmed yet calm, defenses fell back,
As arms and legs accepted the coupling.
And still I resisted, the barrier held, While animal urges lay under resolve,
But heat and time melted all resistance,
And, with a gasp, it happened.


Surging deeply and wildly inside,
Taking my breath, control, and resistance,
Muscle and loins, twisting and rolling,
Fingers and toes clinging tightly to skin.
Desperate intensity coiled in your eyes,
Your thundering power reduced me to shudders,
The drumbeat gave way to the primal conclusion,
Where deeply, between us, it happened.


So now I reflect in the shimmering light
Which streaks between fabric and bathes us in warmth.
The giant sleeps silent, half cloaked in the blanket,
Asleep in the dreams of the his admirable purpose,
To nurture his princess, so jaded and damaged,
His heart and my body now both are left aching.
My hollowness felt in both body and mind.
With reason I struggled to not take this step,
Entwining my lust and my wits as I have,
Confusing myself between harlot and lover,
No matter, last night, it happened.

Monday, September 12, 2011

My Friend George

One of the messages I received on my phone while I was in Mexico was from my old friend George, wanting to get together and catch up if possible.  Just before my phone went dead (again), we made plans to meet up, and after work last night, I made my way into Dallas to see my old friend.

George is a big, bald teddy-bear of a man, who looks like he would pound you into the pavement if you looked at him the wrong way.  He probably would, too, but for those he likes, you won't find a nicer guy.  He's Latino, and I'm pretty sure his real name is Jorge, but he prefers (for some reason) to go by George, and so I can't bring myself to spell it any other way when I write about him.  I know that's pedantic of me....okay, moving on...

Anyway, George was one of the security/bouncers at the last club where I worked, and we hit it off almost immediately.  Me and other girls lobbied hard for him to work the VIP area, and so most nights, if he was working, he was watching our backs (literally) when we were in there.  He was appropriately assholish to the guys when they got too handsy or acted like jerks, and even if he didn't know you well, he always seemed like your friend from the beginning.  How many of those people do you know?  No matter the number, aren't they priceless?

We went our separate ways a year ago; management changed, and those circumstances pushed both of us out of there.  Since then, the place has really gone evil and downhill.  I couldn't work another day in that place, and I feel bad for all the girls that stayed, knowing that there was one less knight there to defend them like George always did.  I left the business completely, and George has since cobbled together security jobs wherever he can find them.

It's a surprise to nobody that being hired muscle doesn't always lead to the most savory of gigs, and he's amassed some interesting stories.  But he keeps going, because in addition to just needing money to live, he's got a bigger purpose to fulfill.  When he was a kid, his Dad ran a tire shop.  When his Dad got the cancer*, he eventually had to quit working, leaving it to a cousin of his to run.  The cousin was incompetent, and it went out of business a year later.  Within that year's time, his Dad died.

Now, that building sits empty and half boarded up, as vagrants have pried a few of the boards off so they could take shelter there.  It occurred to George several months ago that what he needed to do was re-open the tire shop.  First, he enlisted help and erected a razor-wire fence around the property, then he started to clean out the building.  He's almost got enough money saved up to replace the doors and windows, and then he'll start working on a business plan to actually open the shop.

Of course, the odds are stacked against George.  First of all, he's never run a business before.  Second, the neighborhood is not exactly upscale (we went to the tire shop last night at 1am.  Believe me when I tell you, 'not exactly upscale' translates accurately in this case to 'potentially scary'.

But I think he'll make it work.  It means everything to him, and for what it's worth, I'm going to put him in touch with somebody I know who is a very good businessperson.  It won't guarantee success, but at least it would give him some good advice maybe.  He asked if maybe I wouldn't mind joining him for a 'painting party' after he gets his new windows and doors installed.  I would love to do that, and am going to get a few of the girls that I kept the numbers for, to come help, too.

This time, I'll have George's back for a change.



P.S. I finally had a successful de-tox day. :)

*I've decided to put 'the' in front of disease names, like old people still occasionally do.  It just sounds better, and old-fashioned in a good way, while still sounding appropriately serious.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

The L.A. Self-Exile



Just when I bragged about how all of us got along on the trip so well, my roommate/best friend/more Shari made me just about want to kill her by the time we got to LAX, where our layover was.  I didn't have a whole lot of alone time in five days on vacation, and she's high-maintenance in most ways that you would probably imagine, so it was just a matter of time.  But how do you get some a little time alone without saying you want it (thus sounding like a bitch)?

Luckily, while sitting at the gate, waiting for our connecting flight to Dallas, I got my chance.

"Attention, passengers of Flight ---, we're looking for volunteers willing to take a later flight to DFW.  If interested, please approach the desk."

I was the first volunteer.

"But we've already got the van waiting for us," Shari said, as I waited for the gate agent to process the ticket change.

"I know," I said.  "And I'll take a cab instead."  She frowned and eventually boarded the plane with the others, leaving me with an extra two-and-one-half hours to kill.  Mission accomplished, except for the "alone time" part.

"Hey there," he said.  "Are you on the seven o'clock?"

"Excuse me?" I said.

"The flight.  To Dallas.  You volunteered to re-book for later."  Now my creep-alert has activated.

"How do you know that?" I asked.  He grinned at me.

"Because you were standing next to me when you did it.  I was doing the same thing, three feet to your right, with the other gate agent."

"Ahh..." I said.  Okay, creep-alert de-actived.  Now I just feel stupid.  I sheepishly affirmed that I was, indeed, on the seven o'clock flight.

"Great," he said.  "Let's go get a drink."

"Where would we do that?" I asked.

"Every hundred feet or so in either direction, I think we'll find one somewhere," he said, wearing his amusement on his face.  It was a good thing, too, because without meaning to, I was being a little bit stand-offish.

I agreed to join him for a cocktail (so much for the de-tox),  introducing myself only as we took seats at a generic airport bar, and by the time five-o'clock came around and my fellow travelers were somewhere eastbound over the california desert, I was enjoying my first ever non-Vodka martini- my impromptu drinking partner's suggestion.  At six-thirty, three martinis in, we both realized it was time to head toward the gate.  Judging by the gate agent's facial expression, we weren't too many minutes from missing the flight.  The plane was about half-full, with the back few rows completely empty.

"Go all the way back," he said from behind me as we made our way down the narrow aisle.

"Where's your seat?" I asked.

"In second to last row," he said.  "Right next to yours."

With a friendly flight attendant as our co-conspirator, my drinking buddy and I tore through several miniature bottles of Smirnoff.  I told him, among god-knows-what-else over the course of the three-hour flight, that I'd just turned 21 a week and a half earlier.

"Something tells me you didn't wait to be legal to be bad," I remember him saying.

"Well then," I said, at this point trying to remain witty, and if possible, not to slur my words too much, "I guess that means you know me at least a little bit by now."

"To not being strangers!" he said, lifting his plastic cup for a toast.  I lifted the tiny vodka bottle instead of my cup.  That wasn't the last little vodka bottle I had, not was it the last stupid toast offered by either of us.  I was pretty smashed by the end of that flight, but I'm pretty sure I was initiating most of the toasts over the last half of the flight.

I didn't realize quite how far gone I was until we finally stood up, having waited for every other passenger de-plane ahead of us. I nearly fell, which my drinking buddy picked up on and stabilized me until I either threw up or caught my balance.  Luckily, I chose the latter.

He was nice enough to lock arms with me, wedding aisle escort-style, as we made our way to the baggage claim area, where a battle between my drunken double-vision and the necessity to retrieve the correct luggage from a moving carousel awaited me.  Unfortunately, specifics of all kinds escape my memory if they occurred when I was wasted, and so I don't remember what it was that my drinking buddy said that began a vicious giggle-fit on my part, but soon I was cackling like a hyena and barely standing, leaning all my weight on the luggage cart that he'd retrieved.  Perhaps sensing that the attention of real grown-ups with legal authority might soon be upon us, he tried to get me to stand upright.  Unfortunately, my legs were just as drunk as my brain was, and I immediately collapsed onto my hands and knees, still laughing uncontrollably.

I saw a policeman watching us closely, but as I my giggles subsided, I was much more concerned with retrieving the bag I was still missing.  Lucky for me, it was one of only about five that were still circulating at that point.  As we passed, no doubt with me carrying my end of conversation at least three times as loud as would normally be appropriate, the policeman stopped us.  Again, the details are awash in a vodka and gin soaked stupor, but this a decent general re-enactment:

OFFICER: How much have you had to drink, ma'am?

ME: Uhm...I had a drink on the plane....officer.

OFFICER: Just one?  You seem like you had a lot more than that.

DRINKING BUDDY: We did have cocktails on our flight home, officer.  (He had just as much to drink as I did, by the way.  But, he also has what I would estimate to be eighty or so extra pounds to work with, thus, as I remember, the threat of arrest was never directed toward him)

OFFICER: She can barely stand up.  I wonder if she's not too intoxicated to reasonably take transportation from here.

ME: No, I got a ride home.

OFFICER: I'm not sure that's a good idea either.  Can I see your ID ma'am?

ME: Uhm okay.  I don't know where it is.

OFFICER: Is it in your purse? Your bags?

ME: I think so?

DRINKING BUDDY: Officer, we're taking a taxi home right now.  She's just getting over something, and it's probably my fault that she had a strong drink on too little food.  Sorry if we caused a disturbance.

(short, but intense silence)

OFFICER: (staring at me with weary disdain) You two got all your stuff?

DRINKING BUDDY: Yes sir, just on our way out now.

OFFICER: (walks away)

whew.  I think that was close.

Drinking buddy offered to share a cab, and I'm pretty sure I went on and on about nothing at all for the half-hour ride east.  I was the first home, and he was nice enough to get me to the door with all my bags, where Shari was waiting, angrily.

"I've been calling you for the last two hours!" she said.  "Your phone is off."  Close. It was actually dead. "And who is this?"  At that moment, I forgot his name, but luckily he was able to introduce himself just fine.

Blotto as I was, I don't remember him leaving, or how long I hung around before Shari put me into bed.  Needless to say, I woke up today feeling well below-average, and just in time for Shari's mom to come over, expecting a detailed account of the week in Cabo.  One thing's for sure, I was a lot less loquacious than I was in the bar and on the plane the night before.

As for my drinking buddy.  I don't know if he got my number or not.  The more I think about it, the less I actually know about him, despite literally hours of conversation.  Such as: his last name, or what, exactly, he does for a living.  Or maybe he told me, and I forgot.  Those two are equally likely.

(sigh) Back to life.




Saturday, September 10, 2011

Saturday never felt so much like Sunday

A few quick hits, while sipping pineapple juice at an aiport cafe:



  • I seriously need to detox.  I need the sauna, herbal teas, no booze, no drugs and a lot of sleep.
  • Do you think that post-op trannies feel slightly left out and hollow inside when they hear Lady Gaga's "Born This Way"?
  • One day I'll learn to bring an extra bag along for all the shit that I buy when I go on vacation.  Yet again, I've stuffed it into a plastic bag from the store, and will be shoving it under my seat with all my might.
  • I hope they're not showing "Something Borrowed" again as the inflight movie.  I glanced at it occasionally, but never put my headphones on to hear the audio.  Even without it, it looked like a beating.  I'm trying to think of anything Kate Hudson's been in that's not a beating.  
  • Somehow I spent five days with six friends, and at the tail end of that, none of us hate each other or attempted to murder each other.  Just the same, I can definitely use some alone time, ASAP.
  • you know what's on tomorrow?  NFL BABY!
  • And...I'm about to fall asleep.
Later, yous guys.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Last Full Day

Tomorrow is back to reality. Tomorrow, my demons, as accommodating as they can be at times, will be awaiting me on the other side of the customs line at DFW.  Tomorrow will have to be about something other than fun, carelessness, and lack of responsibility.  Yes, I'm whining, but I'm done now.

As for today, I'm still "winning", in the delusional Charlie Sheen kind of way.  Vacation has been great.  I haven't posted the last two days because 1) I couldn't really be bothered with it, but also 2) I wouldn't want to bore everyone with mundane tales of beach relaxation, shopping, swimming, and soaking up as much perfect weather as I possibly can.

No, if there's anything of interest going on at all, it's probably the liberal use of alcohol with the occasional drugs, and promiscuous behavior.  It's time I admit it: I can, on occasion, be found to carouse with others prior to committing myself to a long-term relationship with them.  It's not easy to admit, but yes, I very much enjoy the company of a man (or woman, potentially, at least) just for the fun of it.  Don't tell anyone though, my reputation as an upstanding lady might be dashed completely!



Okay, for those of you that don't know I'm laying it on pretty thick right here, let me set you straight:  I love sex.  I'm (usually) not careless or stupid about it, but I definitely have strong hedonistic tendencies.  I like to have fun, and to me, sex is often incredibly fun.  Sometimes it's not, of course, but you never know until you try.    Each man is like a piece of chocolate from the assortment box (especially if he's African in origin...).  I love to sample.  You miss a hundred percent of the orgasms that you don't seek.

So... there's been a little of that on the trip.  Nothing excessive, everything in moderation of course. ;)


And it's not even like I take vacations for sex.  I have outlets for that already.  But if it comes along, great.  It has a couple of times.  It's all a part of what makes getaways so great.  People don't change, but they do relax.  And when you can get an entire resort town of people relaxing together, well that's a vibe that's worth taking advantage of.

Tonight is the last vacation night, and the seven of us plan to stick together as much as a group this size really can.  My last three nights have been spent at least partially, if not completely, camped out at the great lounge and beach clubs here at the hotel, so tonight I think we'll do what we did the first night, which is at least make a run through the "party places" and get a little bit loud.

I'll do a body shot in your honor.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

No Uglies Allowed

I'm in Cabo San Lucas, where apparently every day is just like the ones we've had yesterday and today, which is to say, perfect.  This is the sort of vacation that, if gifted to me, I would feel like I wasn't worthy of.  But I paid my own coin, and am definitely going to get my money's worth (not counting, of course, the countless drinks, clothes, food, and drugs that I'm going to buy).  I'm so glad to be here and not in Texas right now.  I feel like the prisoner from Shawshank Redemption, lifting my arms after escaping the prison.

Okay, a bit dramatic maybe. Instead of crawling through a sewer, I rode coach on American Airlines, and my prison is pretty damn good, considering it's actually a duplex and I have a job I like (which does not involve making license plates).  Also, I'm slightly drunk. Other than that, didn't both that Shawshank guy and me end up on the coast of Mexico?  I do believe so.  The point is, I feel so refreshingly unshackled and detached from the real world here.  Maybe it's an effect of being on the end of a peninsula, at the literal "lands end".  Or maybe I just need another skinny margarita.  

Special recognition goes to Dancing Doll (who seriously needs a blog so I can link to it, and her work, which is unrivaled, really), and my friend Erin who have both stayed in the hotel where I now sit, updating all dozen or so of you who either know me or were somehow suckered into tapping the link.  This place is as perfect as the weather is.  There are seven of us, split into three rooms.  One of the two guys, we'll call him Corn Dog (because that's actually what we call him), deadpanned as we walked in from the airport shuttle van "this place is going to work."  

An hour later, sitting beachside with drinks in our hands, I told him that his first impression, while understated, was correct.  

"Apparently, there are no uglies allowed here.  Have you all looked around? Jesus."

"Then how the hell did Corn Dog get in?" Shari asked, only about 25% joking, from what I can tell.  My only guess is that Shari and Erin make up for him sufficiently.  Point is, walking around a place like that, with a chill beach scene with live DJs, great service, beds and loungers with ocean views, and the kind of crowd that is attracted there offers renewed hope for the beauty of the human race; beauty on the outside, anyway. ;)  I'm not here to scout for humanitarian award recipients.

Tonight we have dinner here, then my plan is to enjoy the in-house scene, as opposed to clubbing and getting a full glass worth of tequila and Corona spilled on my apparel over the course of a night, which is what last night was all about.  Fun, no doubt, but I'm stepping it up a little tonight, I'm about to hit my stride.


More later. 




Saturday, September 3, 2011

MDMA and the Oregonians -or- My Birthday Celebration




*note: actual names and places are changed to protect the guilty and the innocent


The night started at 8:30pm with six of us girls, a supply of MDMA, cocaine, Jaegermeister, and an itinerary that included the bar where I worked, the strip club where I once worked, and some dancing after that.  

The night ended at 5am with three of us girls, having taken all the MDMA, having spilled the cocaine that we didn’t snort, having left the Jaegermeister in a downtown hotel room, having danced both in clubs and in the Silver Cabaret Gentleman’s Club, and barefoot, having lost my shoes.  

Based on the results, I’d say my best friend Shari did a bang-up job orchestrating a birthday celebration night.  She wasn’t even supposed to be involved in my birthday celebration, actually.  I was invited to Las Vegas by a guy I was seeing, but he exposed his psycho side about a week ago, so that extravagant getaway was abandoned.  Oh well, at least I didn’t find myself sequestered in a Mandalay Bay mini-suite before he brought out the crazy.  This was on top of a pretty tough breakup from a really serious boyfriend that I had until about five weeks ago, so I deserved a good time, if I don’t say so myself.

So with the bad episodes behind me, Shari went into action to make sure my night was special, even hiring a driver to shuttle us around, which in retrospect was completely necessary.  Once the fun got started, we almost immediately lost a “last girl standing” contestant: at the bar where I work.  My manager Gus was generous enough to line up some shots of god knows what, and got us started off right.  The assortment of gangster types, hard-assed middle aged men, and after-work lingerers enjoyed the spectacle of six young ladies dressed and aggressively eager to party up and out.  Unfortunately, Loni, all 4’10” of her, just is not used to straight liquor and lost that, plus her dinner, in the ladies room within 25 minutes of merriment.  Not wanting to let anybody down though, she hung in there with us.

Shari told me we were going to revisit our past, and after weaving through Dallas traffic for a half hour, we arrived at the Silver Cabaret, my place of employment for several months last year, and the place where I first met Shari, who was by then a veteran dancer when I first showed up.  Since we both bailed for better things, it had changed names, lost its liquor license, and gone otherwise just a tad downhill, but being Friday night in Dallas, TX, there was no shortage of loose-walleted men filling the place at 10pm.  Shari also had the forethought to bring a bottle of Jaeger with us, so we had them line up shot glasses, and against everything that everyone knows about Jaeger, we started taking shots.  In between those, the MDMA was passed around, and the dueling intoxications started to work that party magic.  

Shari also pulled a few strings with a manager, and I found myself on the small stage that used to be in the VIP area.  Funny how quick those moves come back, too.  I guess it’s like riding a bike- a very profitable, erotic, bike.  The DJ announced that the small stage featured a “young customer trying it out for a song”, but a loud patron from the back of the room called bullshit on that immediately:

“She’s not a damn customer, she works here!  It’s a setup!”  

You can’t question strip club regulars on their talent evaluation, that’s for sure.  

I made almost $30 and had an offer from a man to do a table dance, but I chose instead to give it to Erin, one of the girls in our group.  After that was over, and through the warm fuzzies of my high, I looked around at all the eyes on our group, then sheepishly shimmied back into my dress in front of the entire club.  Good times.

By the time we got to the club downtown, we were clustered into two three-girl cuddle piles, just feeling the flow and watching passing lights in the city darkness.  When we finally stumbled out of the van and into the club, we took shots of chilled vodka, and then I lost everyone, jumped into the throng, and danced my ass off.

Around the time that Erin found me and signaled for us to go to the ladies’ room for a little bump out of the vial, Loni wasn’t feeling good and had the driver take her home.  And then there were 5.

We found Shari again, who was at the bar chatting up two guys that offered to buy us some drinks.  We all accepted, but Erin and I weren’t that interested in chatting, so we soon went back out onto the floor, leaving Shari and our friend Hanna to keep their alcohol benefactors in their thrall.  Dawn had to work in the morning, and bowed out, taking a cab home.  And then there were 4.  

The four guys at the club were in town for a football game.  Two were from Oregon, the other two went to college there, where they all met.  This was a reunion for them, which would culminate in watching their team play on Saturday night.  Until then, there were just up for a non-stop good time.  Turns out, they met the right group of girls for that, but who know how ‘a good time’ would eventually be defined?

We went with them to an after-hours lounge after that, worn out from dancing and also wanting something under 300 decibels to go with a comfy sofa.  My addled senses really appreciated the shape-shifting light effects in there, catching and participating in fragments of conversation until Erin signaled for me to follow her again to the ladies room.  The idea was to step up or game again, but after her second bump she got a nosebleed.  When we finally got it stopped, she was ready to hang it up for the night.  And then there were 3.

The Oregonian Quartet invited us to hang out in their room, where they claimed to have plenty of liquor and ice, plus a balcony and music.  The had all of those things indeed, as well as underwear and trash all over the floor, and countertops covered with empty cups, grocery bags, and an open pizza box filled with the bones and one whole leftover slice.  Obviously, they didn’t plan on having company in their room.  Or, they probably didn’t care either way.  Guys are immune to their own pig stys, it’s like they don’t even notice disgusting messes they make.  I don’t get it.

On the way over there, I broke a heel, but other than having to walk downtown sidewalks barefoot, I was very much intact.  Hanna’s right shoulder strap was hanging on by a literal thread, and Shari’s malfunctions appeared to be mental rather than wardrobe related.
The Oregonians, room mess aside, were a good time, even the guy who claimed to have been a “physique model” and told us he had offers to be a male stripper, but turned them down.  

This, I couldn’t resist.  

“You had offers?  What does that mean?  Does LeBare actively recruit in your area?  Did they call your agent and then email him an offer sheet?”

He mostly ignored my inquiry, and went on to explain how the “adult escort and dancing industry works”, which was very entertaining.  Somebody obviously paid attention when he read those wikipedia entries.  Apparently Shari had less patience for his routine, so she let the cat out of the bag that she and I used to be dancers.   Not long after that, we let the cats out for all to see.  

When you’re any combination of drunk, rolling, and high, things tend to blend and blur a little over time, but I do remember the following, at least somewhat in order:

  • Getting under the covers with Shari, who either neglected or refused to take off her heels, but had no problem removing everything else.  
  • Watching Hanna get railed up against the inside wall of the closet, shaking the stack of empty clothes hangers in the process.
  • Shari goading the “physique model” into showing us his goods, which she immediately grabbed a hold of, demanding a demonstration.  
  • The “physique model” talking one hell of a game (of course, with regards to his considerable sexual prowess) but then repeatedly having difficulty maintaining an erection.  Funny how it’s always the dickheads that talk the biggest who have the most actual shortcomings when it comes to action.
  • Being both offended and also laughing hysterically when one of the guys asked another, who at the time was on top of Shari, with her legs propped against his shoulders, if he should take a video to submit to “Yellow Tail Amateur Lovers.com” at a later time.  If I recall, the guy had to think about it, then was too distracted to answer.  
  • NO, HE DID NOT TAKE A VID, NOBODY DID!
  • Getting compliments on my “hardwood floors”
  • Watching two guys apparently try to line up a DP on Hanna, before (guess who?) couldn’t quite keep his erection to execute it.  I’m not sure she would’ve been down for that anyway.  
  • Having all kinds of fun with a very attractive, very cool, Oregonian of about six feet.  His equipment couldn’t have been longer than four and a half inches, and that was four and a half inches of pure fucking heaven.  
  • Looking blankly at my two remaining party girls  when the last of the male erections turned in his resignation.  We were covered in sweat, among other things, since the guys forgot to turn on the A/C when we came in.  Two hours later, it was quite warm in there, since it was still almost 90F outside.  
  • Taking a shower with Shari and Hanna, when one of those dumbasses came in with his camera phone, trying to take either pics or vids.  I reacted with shock and awe.  He briefly thought I was joking.  I was not joking.
  • Coming down from the drugs, booze, and physical action in the van, on the North Central Expressway, and almost falling asleep as the clock turned 5am.  



It was a great birthday, my girls were awesome.  We’ll do it again soon.  To the Oregonians, wherever you are out there (by now, probably tailgating outside the stadium): it was real, boys.  

Friday, September 2, 2011

Badly Hung Over...



Which means my birthday celebration involved tales definitely worth telling (and definitely a prime example of why keeping my real name under wraps is a good idea).

So stay tuned for that.

"The Midnight Walk" (fiction)





When I feel inspired, and make the time to put my inspiration to non-carnal use, I write erotic stories.  This is the last one I've completed, which actually placed second in a contest.  


I took the prize money, bought an 8-ball, and rented some midget gigolos.  Ok, just kidding.  I actually donated it to charity. 



THE MIDNIGHT WALK


A nude stroll on the beach gives her an outlet for her arousal, and relief from a lonely life.

Something powerful stirred inside me when I heard the groan of carnal satisfaction over the gentle waves. That something had been trying to return for a while, nudged toward life with every sultry glance and beautiful body that I encountered or imagined. But when I turned the corner that night and saw her on his lap, rolling her hips, unmistakeably fucking, that was when it officially re-awakened. It had been asleep for literally years; when I moved to Jamaica, it truly slept in peace. It was a long time coming, but as I felt the onset of hot slickness between my legs, and the warm welcome tingling of my flesh, I knew that my sex drive had returned in full, finally triggered by this one lingering, voyeuristic moment.

I had taken the same late-night nude walk on the beach a couple nights a week for the last month or so, starting as soon as the nights got warm enough to make it comfortable. It was a year and six months ago that I took residence at Hopewell Manor, and six months prior to that was when I introduced myself to the man who brought me here.

-

I knew lots of girls in school that had very specific dreams about what they wanted, and very specific plans on how to get it. Some went to college, some turned their part time jobs into full time jobs. My goals were never that well-defined, but I knew that whatever life I led, I wanted it to include plenty of comfort and cash. I’d been “on the pole” for five years, nearly a lifetime in the world of the gentleman’s club, when I saw a break in the clouds.

He gave me plenty of cash right away, and as time went by, the comfort came as well.
It had been so easy to set that initial hook, too. Cheek to cheek as I ground my bare pussy on his lap in the privacy of the
VIP lounge, he whispered in my ear:

“You’re so gorgeous baby, I bet you don’t know what to do with all the nice compliments and things you get.”

“No, everybody treats me like shit,” I replied, in a well practiced half-pout, half-purr.

Oh poor me, the disrespected stripper, right? But that was all it took. A c-note landed in the palm of my hand a moment later. It was the first of countless others to follow, and the beginning of a relationship built on mutual needs and without apologies: a man in need of companionship, and a young woman with a thirst for cash and a better lifestyle.

He maintained three residences, one in his native England, one in my hometown for business reasons, and one in Jamaica because it’s the place he called home. Whenever he was in town, he came to see me. Soon, I was seeing him outside the club if he was in town on days I didn’t work. Eventually, he never came to the club at all: I was staying at his house. As sugar daddies go, David was a dream. His generosity and kindness knew few bounds, and his sexual demands were few and seldom, the perfect combination for a jaded dancer with a scorching case of sexual burnout.

Night after night, disrobing and gyrating in front of, above, and up against a blur of lonely men took its toll. Being sexy became a chore, and over time, the power of sex completely lost its allure. Lots of people assume that the single strippers who don’t date and don’t trick are just uptight in some way or holding out for bigger money, but some just can’t get that excited about sex at all, especially with the same guys that paw at them for hours in the club. All I wished for was to not have to be sexy, to not be an object. Sex was the last thing I wanted, and between that and the difficulties of meeting good men anyway while working as a stripper, dating wasn’t even worth messing with.

-

I got the text message one day as I was preparing to go into work: he’d had a heart attack the night before. When I went to visit him the next morning, his spirits were good despite being hooked up to more than a few tubes and machines. He had an idea for me.

“Angela, my dear, all I’ve got here are doctors telling me what I can’t do, and time to think about what I can. My life is changing. I’d like to offer something to you.”

Ironically, it was a debilitating emergency in his life that created an opportunity for mine. His offer was to have me move to
Jamaica to live with him full-time, and to help him manage his affairs. I’d live in a big house on an estate, be waited on hand-and-foot, and enjoy a nearly perpetual summer overlooking the ocean. What was I leaving behind in exchange? Not a whole hell of a lot, besides a job I’d hate if I weren’t so numb to it, and an empty-shell of a life I’d otherwise be leading. This was the future I’d seemingly hoped in vain would happen, so I accepted without hesitation.

-

Mr. Gordon’s home- Hopewell Manor, as it is called- sits on the edge of a gated collection of mansions which terrace up the hillsides, overlooking the
Caribbean coast. Everyone who owns property and lives there is white, and with few exceptions, English. Just on the other side of a high wall and maybe a half-mile of beach and forest lies the village of St. John’s Burg. Everyone who lives in the village is black, and a good many of them make up the work staff at the various gated mansions nearby, including Hopewell Manor.

There is a daily street market there, selling fruits, vegetables, meats, and handmade goods to the working and poor of the village and beyond. Every other homeowner around us prefers to send their staff with a list, but I always loved to make the trip myself. When I exited the iron gate, where the estate wall meets the beach, I always felt free, as if I’d re-entered that which was real, and left behind the stodgy ascot-and-croquet world of what passed for a social life among my expat neighbors.

Largely numb to the effects, I nonetheless always noticed the stares, both leering and curious, as I exited the beach and walked through the center of the village to the market. I was always the lone Caucasian, showing my tanned skin in slight clothing and open sandals. I dressed for the weather to be sure, but a full view of a sexy white woman’s midriff and upper thigh was not something the villagers were accustomed to seeing.

Sure, a few of these very people would serve me drinks at my poolside, or perhaps occasionally bring toiletries to me while wrapped in a towel, but work was different: the eyes were diverted, the head held lower. Here, I was in their world, on their time; they were damn sure going to look, and I didn’t really care either way. The fish merchant, an intense man who surely was somewhere near my own age, always took extra interest in me.

He never said much; his communication was all in his eyes. I could never tell if he simply lusted after me, or resented me for the interloper that I was by shopping among his people; probably both. But on days when I didn’t purchase fish, I missed the electric tension when I didn’t see him. Sometimes I would walk by, slowly, hoping he would notice me. Even if it didn’t always turn me on, I enjoyed knowing I aroused something in him every time.

In the meantime, my David, Mr. Gordon to everyone else, was forbidden by his doctors from sexual activity, among many other things. As the months passed, our relationship changed anyway. More than just an assistant and recipient of sugar daddy favors, I became his right hand associate in all matters he attended to, business and personal. What I lacked in education, I seemed to have in instinct and diligence, and as his health did not improve, I started taking more and more responsibilities.

Recently, late at night, my mind started to wander a bit. Sitting with my laptop under the verandah, letting the see breeze wash over me in the dead of night, I’d click off of a spreadsheet or email, and onto the internet. I started to let my imagination take over with an erotic story or two; or maybe it was as innocent as browsing facebook, noting the handsome men in my loosely connected network of acquaintances. But either way, between my mental workload taking its toll and my sexual identity was trying to reassert itself, I was looking for an escape without even knowing it.

I finished reading a story, one that told of a surprise encounter: the sexy young woman was blindfolded by her boyfriend on her birthday, only it turned out to not be her boyfriend at all. Deception, surprise, orgasms, and wonderful sexual expression- it made me smile, and offered me that temporary escape. I loved to let my imagination take a stroll in these stories, even if they didn’t get me utterly aroused. But as I closed my laptop, I decided to take a stroll of my own.

At the base of the stairs that led down to the rolling lawn, I shed my clothing, walked the expanse of soft grass under my bare feet, and passed through the gate, marveling at the moon’s reflection on the gentle waters of the sea as I emerged onto the beach. This never got old, it always felt something close to spiritual to me.

-

“Gained a few pounds, haven’t you, love?” was the innocuous question David posed to me maybe eight months prior.

It was true, too: without the rigors of nearly daily dancing and entertaining, not to mention a recreational cocaine habit, my tight body had loosened just a bit. Absent the comment, I was honestly happy about it. The extra pounds went to my ass and my thighs, and I saw nothing wrong with little more curve in my sway. There was nobody here to impress, anyway, and I felt healthier. But, getting that critique from David cast it in a very different light, never mind the fact that we weren’t even sexually involved anymore.

Defiance won over in the end, and after hours of self-examination in the mirror, I learned to accept my new body all over again, knowing I was damn sexy still. My nude walks were simply a self-affirmation, aside from the sweet sensation of warm wind across every inch of my skin.

-

I never walked before midnight, and at that hour, I was virtually assured privacy. The residents in my area rarely visited the beach at all, and those who were still awake were entertaining inside or on their verandahs. The staff had all gone back to the village by then, and those few staffers who were given quarters were making use of them. It was always just me, the moon, and the waves. But not on that night.

I heard the sounds of their sex just before I cleared an outcropping of rocks, exposing a young black couple in their mid-fuck throes. As I briefly locked eyes with this man, gripping his lover by both ass cheeks, directing her gyrating hips with his cock fully buried within, I saw a fire burning deep inside, conveyed in the deep thrusting each time she lowered herself into his lap. I still have no words for the feeling that was conveyed, but it lit my arousal like a thick fuse on a cherry bomb.

I broke our gaze and turned to walk back in the direction I came from, not even trying to shake the image that was seared into my brain. I embraced it, I savored it, and as strolled along the waterline, I reached a hand between my legs, savoring the long-absent wetness that only increased with the friction of my legs in movement. I passed my gate without realizing it, walking beyond the estates, letting the remnants of the waves wash over my toes as I imagined the myself, for the first time in ages, getting fucked.

I heard their voices before I saw them, and by that time, I was less than fifty feet from them. They were wearing almost nothing- swimsuits, perhaps, and dragging large nets ashore. I could only make out their dark silhouettes against the soft lunar light, speaking in the native patois, which even after all this time, I was lucky to decipher a third of. I knew they were deliberating the proper reaction to the nude white woman who suddenly happened upon their stretch of beach, but beyond that, I was at a loss.

As I got closer to them, the angles of their bodies became apparent. They froze and went silent, staring at me. I stared back at them, gazing at the smooth sable-toned skin shining at the edges from the moonlight, undulating with the contours of their muscles. I walked right up to them, only to have them each take a step back. Their eyes gave away their surprise. One finally spoke.

“Are you okay, woman?”

“I’m fine,” I said. “Just taking a walk.”

“Where are your clothes?” he asked, the hint of a smile coming over his face.

“They’re at my house,” I said. “I like to walk without them, especially on nights like this.”

“She comes to our market,” the other added, allowing his eyes to scan all the way down to my feet, then back up. When I met his gaze, I knew him immediately. The fish merchant!

“So you’re that woman,” the other said, nodding his head.

“I am that woman,” I said.

“She comes scantily-clad,” the fish merchant continued. “Gives us all a good show. Not this good, but quite good. I wondered what was left to the imagination. Now I know.”

They shared a chuckle, but his eyes were hungry. His hands started to reach toward me, then halted. The other man, shorter but stockier, took a step to the side of me, openly gawking at my ass. While I bathed in their attention, my mind kept replying the scene that I stumbled on down the beach.

The girl, a mess of thick black hair and chocolate skin moaning while she gyrated in the lap, and at the mercy, of a hungry grunting man. The memory resets as he sets his sights on me and I turn away. I got wetter by the moment, and the two men stepped closer to me. Did they sense my arousal? In a moment of alarm, I awkwardly bid them goodnight, stepped away, and continued walking.

“Where are you going?” the merchant asked.

“Nowhere, just walking,” I said over my shoulder.

“You will get to St. John’s Burg soon, woman. You will be seen there,” the other man said.

“So what? I just got seen by you too,” I answered, and walked on.

The heat between my legs only increased, begging to be quenched. Each step sent a tingle of pleasure through me. I thought of the men, so dark and beautiful, all alone on the deserted beach. What if I’d fucked them both right then? Who would know? I didn’t even know their names, and that made it even hotter. How often would I have the chance to satisfy this new found desire, especially given how unattracted I was to what passed for eligible bachelors among the stodgy club-goers in my neighborhood. I wanted to feel that hard muscle against my skin, and to be taken by somebody that dirtied their hands a little. I wanted them inside of me.

Unable to resist my imagination any longer, I walked to the edge of the beach, sat against a palm tree in the scrub grass, and sunk a finger into my soaked pussy, lost in the fantasy of me and the two men. I felt so alive, savoring the return of my sexual being, caressing my breast with one hand, and sinking two, then three, fingers into my slit. I buzzed all over as I made love to myself, digging my toes into the cool earth and arching my back off the tree trunk with every wave of pleasure. For every touch that I offered myself, both outside and in, my body craved more.

The warm summer breeze poured across my naked body like another set of gentle hands, muffling my moans and carrying them into the wild forest behind me as it held me exposed to the moonlit sea. My clit was swollen and stimulated like never before, making me shudder as the wind blew across it. Drifting in and out of orgasm, soaked with my own juices and drunk on my own arousal, I barely noticed as the two men came into view on my right, then started toward me.

“You’ve never seen a naked woman before?” I asked, smearing my crotch and inner thighs with my wetness. “Other than a few minutes ago, that is.”

“Aren’t you scared you’ll be seen, woman? I bet there’s a man that is wondering where you are right now,” the merchant said.

“If I was scared I wouldn’t be here, and nobody’s looking for me,” I said. “Is anyone looking for you?”

“We fish at night, but our wives will wonder soon enough,” he answered, exchanging a glance with the other man.

I smeared my crotch and inner thighs with my wetness, looking up at them.

“But I can spare a few minutes, as can Delroy here...if you would like company.”

He sat down, burning a hole into my skin with his eyes, tilting his head to look between my parted legs, watching my bare pussy get penetrated by my fingers. The other man, Delroy, sat down on the other side of me and leaned in.

It was all talk until that moment. These two men were breathing heavier, lusting, and every second that I sat still, arms across my body and legs spread, signaling my willingness to play, the more intense it became. My arousal had strapped me into a runaway train from a chance encounter, and part of me knew how reckless this was. Was it really what I wanted? So slutty, but what the hell, who was going to find out? Not their wives, unless they came looking for them, and David and I slept in different rooms anyway. Nobody was around, and even if I could see the roofs from the village to the west, there was no sound or movement aside from the three of us.

In Jamaica, I was alone, even with all my comforts, and as the merchant reached his big, coarse hand over to cup my breast, I knew I was unable to pass this opportunity up; my body wanted it too badly. I felt my pussy tingle at the prospect of what dangled before me. The warm summer wind sent a shiver through me as it whipped across my erect nipples. I looked at the beautiful, strong men to each side of me, fucking me in my mind and now, about to fuck me in reality too- at least if I had anything to say about it.

He squeezed my breast, sandwiching my nipple between two fingers, and wrapped his other arm behind my back. He whispered how beautiful I was, and how soft and supple my body was; I didn’t even know his name. Delroy crawled up to me and brazenly reached a hand between my legs, inserting a finger inside. My pussy flooded with more juices and I spread my legs, opening myself to his touch, and suspending all decision-making in surrender to my desire.

The merchant stood up and removed his shorts, exposing a gorgeous ebony penis. Maybe half-erect and quite generous in size, it pointed toward me like a divining rod. I instinctively reached for it and he took a step closer before dropping to his knees. It had been so long since I felt a cock. I’d forgotten how much I loved the silky smooth skin of the shaft, and the spongy sensation that gave way to a delicious stiffness the more excited he got. I wrapped my hand around it gently, feeling the contours of the head and then the veins, stroking it up to the base then back down to the head, feeling it jump a little each time my fingertips grazed the sweet spot on the underside.

Delroy’s hands pinched my clit and rolled my labia between his fingers, sending a shiver radiating through my body. His mouth took my left breast and swirled his tongue across my nipple.

“You suck this,” the merchant said, gruffly.

Without hesitation, I leaned over and took him into my mouth, wrapping my lips around his swollen head and slathering all sides of it with his tongue. He let out a low, throaty groan and planted a hand on the back of my head, guiding me further down on his shaft. Remembering old techniques, I relaxed my throat, realizing that he had every intention of making me deep throat him. The faint tang of seawater mixed with the familiar saltiness of male skin, making me ever thirstier as I slurped on his thick, erect shaft.

The fingers in my pussy fucked me harder- sometimes one, sometimes three. I moaned uncontrollably, threatening to make me gag on the big dick lodged halfway into my throat. I pushed his hand away, only to feel it replaced by his mouth in addition to his fingers. I gagged, but the hand on my head was unrelenting.

He grunted something in patois that got a laugh from Delroy, then told me, “Keep sucking it, sexy white woman. Don’t stop!”

Delroy’s supple lips pressed tight around my clit and he sucked hard, then flicked his tongue across it, driving me quickly over the edge. I couldn’t breathe, both from the orgasm and from the throat-fucking that the merchant was forcing on me. Finally my hands pushed me free and I came up for air, gasping in mid-orgasm, with the mouth between my legs refusing to give way. I pushed against his head, but he gripped my ass tightly from behind, holding me in place as my upper body thrashed, finally coming to rest flat on my back.

The two men chattered in their dialect, then Delroy eased me up and onto my hands and knees, right in front of the same big cock that I just dislodged from my mouth a moment before. Behind me, I felt the hot sensation of Delroy’s cock, probing between my legs before wiggling into my opening and pushing forward, taking my breath away all over again. He slid in easily, but the sensation of being stretched from the inside, penetrated for the first time in a year and a half, was overwhelming. I gasped, both fearing and delighting in the sudden mass invading me from behind. He backed out, then thrust all the way in again, stretching me anew with each stroke.

I licked and stroked the merchant’s cock, unable to even contemplate the same rough face-fuck as before while I got it doggy-style. I savored all of the heat that surrounded me, breaking me into a sweat: the hot dick in my hands, the body slapping into my ass from behind while he fucked me, the inner bonfire of my arousal, and the warm summer air all around us. This is what was meant by hot sex!

I looked up at the merchant, locking his eyes with mine, the same as I’d done all those times at the market, only now I held the gaze. I wanted to taste his lips and feel the weathered lines on his rugged face. I raised up on my knees and our faces met, tongues slipping past each other into open mouths, slurping loudly in the quiet night.

Delroy caught up behind me, reinserting himself into me and vigorously thrusting, filling the air with the clap of my ample ass against his groin, drowning out our wet kiss. He gripped my hips at each side, occasionally letting go of one side to slap my cheek, leaving a delicious burn after each impact.

“I love this juicy ass, mon! ‘Tis perfection!” Delroy exalted to his friend, who didn’t bother to break the deep soul kiss that we shared.

I reached between my legs to massage my clit and feel the shaft saw in and out of my slit, allowing the merchant’s hands to explore all over me. I wanted more of him. I wanted to feel his big cock inside me, stretching me further than I already was. I wanted him to fuck me. I told him so as I pressed him backward and onto his back.

The merchant’s body was rock hard, no doubt built upon years of daily labor, and without a cent of help from Gold’s Gym or a personal trainer.

“Do you want to fuck me?” I cooed into his ear, to which he silently nodded, caressing my back.

My tits hung down, grazing my nipples across his chest as I reached down between us, gripping his cock and positioning my hips up to accept him.

“So all those times you fucked me with your eyes,” I said, staring into them for emphasis, “now you finally get to do it with your cock.”

Just as I felt the massive head start to press between my folds, he lifted me back up and set me down on his chest, sandwiching my tits against him and putting us face to face again.

“Not yet, woman” he said in that lilting accent that I always found so pleasant.

And no sooner than he said that, I felt Delroy’s cock re-enter me, and he resumed the ass-smack as he pounded me from on top. The merchant’s cock pressed into my lower belly, held between us by the pressure of Delroy’s thrusting. I loved the hard fucking I was getting, but savored the gentle throb of the monster trapped between us as we kissed and groped each other.

With a quick “my turn,” Delroy pulled out, and again I felt the merchant’s shaft pressing into my mound, this time splitting my lips wide as he slipped into my pussy. My hips ached for him, and my hands pressed into his chest, lowering myself down. I gasped, savoring the sensation of my pussy getting stretched in every direction.

I imagined my pink lips stretched tight as his black stick invaded me, and felt another wave of fluid release around his cock at the thought. We both moaned at the tight sensation of the other, and I lifted up before sinking back down again. As my thighs lowered all the way down to his body, I felt a sharp pain inside, yelped, and popped back up, letting his dong slip out and rest against his body again.

“Hit the bottom, yeah woman?” he asked.

Without responding, I reinserted him and again lowered myself onto him, this time arching my back and cocking my hips back, allowing me to fuck him without it hitting my cervix. Through more than a little pain, but far overshadowed by an avalanche of pent-up passion, I worked his big dick, clapping my ass against the top of his legs as I thrust down on him, meeting his hips jerking upward. It was a desperate fuck, the kind that only the virile yet sex-deprived man can offer. His hands squeezed my ass, pressing me to bury his cock deep into my pussy over and over. I moved my hips in a circle as he thrust upward, letting him hit every nerve-ending deep within.

He grazed the back of my pussy, triggering another climax. I screamed out, then lost my breath, lifting off of his cock and writhing against his body, my hand pressed against my buzzing pussy and clit. His hand replaced mine, and was shortly replaced by Delroy’s cock, again knocking on the door and pushing his way in. He fucked me vigorously, almost violently, gripping me tightly at the hips and ramming ever faster, cursing in ecstasy. I moaned out, digging my fingers into the merchant’s shoulder’s, holding on for dear life.

“This ass is delicious, woman. I want it!” he hollered, pulling out of my pussy then pushing past my tiny anal opening, slipping through on the slick lubrication that covered his cock.

I screamed, unable to speak through the flash of pain that racked my body and mind. He pulled out, then pushed further in. The burning was intense and I cocked my hips upward for a better angle, drooling on the merchant’s dark chest as Delroy ass-fucked me, his hands steadying me at the waist as he aimed his dick down and in. I felt so slutty, finding such dirty, twisted pleasure in this pain; so pleased to be so exposed, so vulnerable. I was the stranger getting fucked, playing with my clit, rubbing on my swollen and soaked pussy, begging for him to keep fucking me in my ass.

The man underneath me squeezed my nipples, and I stroked his cock with my free hand as I felt Delroy’s hold on my waist slip back to my hips and tighten again. His groans turned to low grunts, and just as he told me he was going to cum, he thrust all the way in, and pumped his semen deep into my belly. I could feel him twitching, holding himself within me until he had given me all he had. With a sigh, he backed away, leaving a burning, reamed ass full of cum, exposed to the sea breeze.

The merchant man underneath turned me onto my back, slipped his cock inside, and began to fuck me in long slow strokes. My pussy tightening around his thick shaft was enhanced by the sensation of Delroy’s cum beginning to leak out of my ass. He lifted my legs up and over my shoulders, and fucked me hard, making me cry out and pressing my body into the soft grass with every thrust. I moved my hips, desperate to take him deeper, oblivious to the cramping I’d surely feel the next morning from having my womb tapped over and over by the deep-dicking I was receiving. The obscene slurps of excess fluid and trapped air added to the thick aroma of sex that lingered between us despite the breeze, and coaxed another orgasm to the surface.

I began to spasm, breathless, and tried to free my sensitive pussy from the cock that was screwing it into the fertile island soil, but to no avail. The squishing sound got louder as he pumped me harder, and I moaned loudly as soon as I caught my breath. His grunts deepened and his strokes shortened; I reached back to grip his ass, knowing he wouldn’t hold out much longer. With a low groan, he let my legs down to either side of him, then picked me up, setting me upright in his lap.

We kissed deeply while I gyrated my hips atop him, holding his shaft inside and fucking him with the tight walls of my pussy, just like I’d seen in that chance moment of discovery down the beach. His breath halted and his groin tightened, then he gripped my ass as his dick throbbed, fully buried inside me. He moaned as his cock pulsed and released a fountain of hot cum, splashing, then pouring, deep into my pussy . I wrapped my legs tightly around him and moved my hips, coaxing more of his seed out with each pulse, feeling his muscles tense, then relax, kissing his lips, his cheeks, his neck. I held myself on his lap for a long time, letting his thick softening penis remain inside me.

Coming down from the high, resting against the merchant’s chest, I noticed an orange glow, and saw Delroy leaning against a nearby palm, smoking a joint.

“I hope you enjoy, woman,” he said with sleep-like relaxation.

Just when I was about to test my wobbly knees and lift off of the merchant’s lap, I saw a black couple walk past us on the beach. The man looked at me, and in an instant, I knew those eyes, and he knew mine. We shared a smile as he turned around and continued toward the village with his partner.

When I stood up, I felt thin streams of cum seep from both holes, joining in a single rivulet down my left thigh. We shared the joint until we smoked it down to the roach, relaxing under the glow of the Caribbean moon. The warm breeze washed across our faces as we sat facing the ocean, savoring the silent afterglow of our dirty, sexy chance encounter.

Eager to cleanse myself, I ran into the ocean, feeling the gentle waves splash against me as I rushed into deeper water. The merchant followed me in, playfully dunking me a couple of times as I tried to elude him. I tread water for a few moments, enjoying the warm ocean waters in silence before swimming ashore. Wading back onto the beach, I noticed that both men were gone. The beach was desolate as far as I could see in either direction. Until I felt between my legs, I wondered for a moment if I’d imagined the whole thing.

Slipping back inside the gate, re-entering the world of trust-funds, generational wealth, and detachment, I smiled, knowing it was a good walk out in the real world. The next day there would be staff personnel issues, a stack of paperwork, management of David's medicine, and whatever else cropped up. I'd needed that walk and everything that happened along the way. With the summer just getting started, I also knew there might be more just like it to come.



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