Insulation

He had a girlfriend, she was in bed with us.  The circumstances of how we met, much less how we all ended up in bed together, are unimportant.  That's always the boring part of the story anyway.  He said liked my eyes, she said she liked my shoes. As for me, my first impressions paled compared to impressions in the sack.

Her legs were so fucking sexy, they were intimidating.  She stood like a graceful swan, cutting a devastating profile in her slight, short silk dress, fabric perched delicately on her curves, where it might "hang" on a less gorgeous, slender body.  He looked like a businessman.  Not the 50ish type of middle manager that wears short sleeve buttoned shirts; no, he was the clean-cut businessman.  He was probably prominent in his fraternity and grimaced when he heard references to recreational drug use.  But, to my surprise, his entire torso, front and back, were covered in colorful, intricate, continuous tattoos.  I laughed with delight when he removed his shirt.  Michelle, his gorgeous Korean girlfriend, smirked knowingly, understanding exactly the surprise I was reacting to.

Maybe 45 minutes later, we were laying naked, together, with the ambient heat of the room enough to make any sheet or blanket seem uncomfortable.  He was singing the praises of his partner Michelle, reminding us that he was lucky to have taken her off the market once upon a time four months ago.

"So, wild child," he said, his hand hanging in the air as if he wanted to trace my naked chest with the back of it, then hesitating, "is there nobody wanting to take you off the market?  Or do you simply refuse to be taken?"

I wanted to tell him some variation of my standard line: that the right man just hadn't come along, and until he did, I was happy to have my fun.  But that wasn't necessarily the truth.  There's a man who very badly wants to take me off the market, and he's probably worth it.  He's not the kind of guy I'd normally go for, but maybe because he's so out of the ordinary, it validates my feelings about him (?).  So even though post-group-coital conversation probably isn't the time to discuss relationship details, I did take the opportunity to think about it, and then answer.

"There's a guy, but I'm just not ready to be 'that somebody' right now," I finally said.    

"Well don't let him get away," Michelle said, running her fingers through a few strands of my hair.  "The good ones are never around when you need them."

So, let me get this straight: the couple that openly swings, that seeks out random 3-some hookups is warning one such hookup that I shouldn't throw away stability when it presents itself?  I'm not saying that it's contradictory, I guess I was just surprised.

In another 45 minutes, I was dressed and on my way, leaving Michelle and John in their place, in their bed, where they lead their life.  I went home alone.

***

Being single has it's advantages- both the boys and the girls will attest to that.  Being single is insulation from commitment, from vulnerability, and from responsibility.

You can set out for a night in and out of the clubs, truly not knowing where it will lead, or with whom.  Because being single doesn't mean being lonely.  Being single means having options.  It means being a free agent, responsible to nobody but yourself.   It means ritual: choosing that lucky pair of heels, or maybe breaking in a new pair.  It's choosing the dress, the jewelry, leaning forward in the mirror to check out that plunging line.  Apply the perfume, the lipstick, maybe do a shot, and then you're ready for action.

If all goes well, you meet- or maybe even just see- somebody with potential, and then it's a whole other ritual.  Maybe you leave with them, or if its really dirty/electric, maybe you end up in a stall with them, and maybe you leave them there to straighten up in the wake of whatever happens, striding confidently out into the throng once again.    Being single is power, and emotionally, being single is safe.

It can also be lonely, granted.  Being in the orbit of somebody great, who wishes to make you single no more, is a reminder of that.  Of what you're missing.  Being with that person is more than just sex.  It's more than quenching a primal thirst.  It quenches a deeper thirst, but it depends on wanting all that goes with it.

Now, some people might say that it's incredibly selfish of me to not "open myself up" to an opportunity with a great guy when it comes up.  But believe me, I'm being far more selfish if I commit to something that I can't fulfill.  So, feelings get hurt, but far less severely than if I didn't live up to the responsibility that I deceitfully accepted.

***

Have you seen the preview for Real Steel?  The whole movie is about a guy that teaches a fucking robot to fight other robots.  The fuck?

***

It should be obvious, but I'm going to say it anyway, since both sexes for some reason insist otherwise.  Guys don't judge us on personality, they judge us on looks.  If we make a good visual impression, then the rest is up to us to either enhance or negate.  But make no mistake, it's a superficial judgement up front; we either benefit or suffer from that.  

***

And lastly, for now anyways: my NFL picks :)

@Buffalo -4 over Oakland

Never trust Oakland to plan an early-ass game on the east coast.  That's like 9am west coast time.  Actually, never trust Oakland on the road.  Actually...never trust Oakland.  Besides, Buffalo's quarterback went to Harvard.

@Detroit -8 over Kansas City

Kansas City fucking sucks, again.  Sorry, Kansas City.

Baltimore -6 over @Tennessee

Baltimore is really good.  Tennessee's quarterback is old and bald.

Cleveland -2  over @Indianapolis

Indianapolis without Peyton Manning is like a guy without a dick.

@Minnesota -3 over Tampa Bay

In the dome, this year they have a decent quarterback.

Chicago +6 @New Orleans

Cutler would be on a mission to prove us all wrong, if he gave a fuck.  He doesn't.  But his team's pretty good, and I don't think the Saints are all that.

Jacksonville +9.5 over @New York Jets

Too many points for me. Plus I really like Maurice Jones Drew, he's good, and cute.

@Pittsburgh +14.5 - over Seattle

Seattle has no quarterback, and Pittsburgh is pissed!  I'll take the points.

@Washington -3.5 over Arizona

Rex Grossman just signed a deal with the devil, and Kevin Kolb sucks.

Green Bay -10 over @Carolina

The Packers will get 14 points at least, just off Cam Newton turnovers.

Dallas -3 over @San Francisco

Dallas' secondary sucks, and so does San Fran's QB.  Dallas will want it more.

@Denver -4 over Cincinnati

Denver's mad, the Bengals aren't very good.

Houston -3 over @Miami

Houston's pretty damn good, and Miami's not.

San Diego +7 over @New England

Too many points for such a good team.  Expect the Chargers to give them issues.

Philadelphia -2.5 over @Atlanta

The Philly Dream Team will put on a show.

St. Louis +6 over @New York Giants

The Giants aren't very good, and Eli Manning has dumb-face.

GO RAIDERS!